Artist: Melissa Shemanna
Title: “Shemanna”
Medium: Egg Tempera and oil on canvas
Size: H180cm x W120cm Cost: $3900
Contact: www.honeybeetemple.com.au
FEATURE ARTICLE
From Woundedness to Awareness
To be aware is to be conscious, which requires intentional, here-and-now focus on what is within us and around us. The more aware we are, the more colourful and joy-filled is our life; we begin to notice many small details which, if our minds are elsewhere, pass us by.
A significant block to awareness for many of us can be what medical intuitive and author Caroline Myss labels ‘woundedness’ – a tendency to continue focusing on a past traumatic event (a ‘wound’), long after the situation has occurred. Some examples of a wound in this context might be abuse as a child, rape, the death of a child, losing a job, a broken marriage or diagnosis of a serious illness.
In her book Why People Don’t Heal and How they Can, Myss describes how woundedness can offer ‘social benefits’. If we identify strongly with our wound (i.e. if our woundedness becomes ‘who we are’) this can become the main way we relate to other people. Some social benefits of such identification may be:
– a ready-made group of people with whom we share a common bond (others with the same wound);
– even people who don’t share our wound may be more caring and sympathetic towards us and less likely to challenge or confront us when they know about our woundedness;
– sometimes it is possible to defuse a touchy conversation by referring to our wound.
Once we discover that people are kinder to us when we let them know about our wound, and that it can be a source of support and a way to exert some control over our relationships, it is easy to allow woundedness to become our way of life.
There are however, disadvantages. Focusing on our woundedness results in feeling bad – sad, hurt, angry, resentful – whatever feelings accompany the situation we are recalling. As we use up energy to constantly remind ourselves of the past, energy loss over time depletes us, leaving us less and less able to enjoy our present circumstances, and can eventually lead to physical illness. Above all, staying stuck in the past prevents us from moving on, discovering and embracing new life experiences.
How to tell if you’re hooked on woundedness
• Do you think about a particular negative past situation (a wound) regularly?
• Do you ever think or speak of yourself as a victim (a victim of child abuse, rape etc)?
• Do you frequently bring your wound into conversations, even shortly after meeting someone for the first time?
• Would it be difficult for you not to speak at all about your wound for the next month?
• Does the thought of letting go and ‘moving on’ without your woundedness scare you?
If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, consider seriously that woundedness might be an issue for you.
Moving beyond woundedness
If you have honestly thought about these questions and their implications, you have already taken the first step towards moving beyond woundedness and into awareness. The questions themselves provide a guide to further steps.
• Monitor your thoughts regularly. When you find yourself thinking about your wound, stop immediately and use an awareness technique to bring yourself into the here and now. Some techniques are:
– Be aware of your inner body – how does it feel? Are there areas of tension? Breathe in and out slowly and with each out-breath gradually release any tension you can feel.
– Pay conscious attention to your surroundings: focus on one of your senses – what can you hear? What can you see/feel/smell? Try to simply be aware, without labelling (naming) whatever your senses discover.
• Stop talking about your wound. (This doesn’t mean not to talk in counselling sessions – just stop bringing it into conversations.) At first this mightn’t be easy; you might realise after the fact that you have referred to it again. This is OK – it’s a step along the way. Soon you will realise just before you speak and will be able to stop yourself from mentioning it; after more time you will find that you are not even thinking about it as often as you used to.
• When you first try to stop mentioning the wound, be aware of any emotions that come up, and sit quietly with these emotions to get some insight into them. Perhaps you feel as if you are losing a part of who you are, and are fearful of losing the companionship, and support that woundedness has given you. This process will also increase your awareness, bringing you more into the here and now.
• A really important step is forgiveness. There is probably someone towards whom you feel angry, bitter or resentful; in some situations it might be yourself, but often it is someone else. Undertake a conscious process of forgiveness; a useful approach is to sit/lie quietly before sleep, and mentally express forgiveness or your willingness to forgive – i.e. “I am willing to forgive (name), but don’t know how. I need help.” I have often found that by the next morning my feelings towards the other person are much softer. The process might need to be repeated a couple of times, but your willingness is the secret to success.
Continue to do awareness exercises, and begin to fill the void created by letting go your woundedness: find things that you would like to do; join groups or take up new activities; learn to be a good listener. In a social situation identify people who look shyer than you, introduce yourself and ask them a simple question like, “Have you been here before?” You’ll be surprised how easy it is to get someone talking about themselves, and before too long you’ll be making new friends and building a new life.
Annabel Muis. Email: annabel.muis@internode.on.net
REGULAR FEATURE
February Star Patterns
It’s nice to put all the December 2012 hype behind us. No more, “Is the world going to end?” Of course it didn’t, and as we enter the next long cycle of planetary evolution the real effects of the transition will slowly become clearer.
As for now, the new moon on 10th February in Aquarius gives a very clear picture of our relationship with the Universe. Startling scientific breakthroughs and leaps of understanding are flowing in. For most of the month, with the active Jupiter-Uranus alignment and more subtle Saturn-Pluto connection, excitement pervades and some long-standing beliefs are exploded. Lightening and fire bursts.
Through the month we have seven planets moving through Pisces. That’s a lot of water; a lot of compassion and now a much deeper and more subtle sense of completion. As the Moon reaches fullness in Virgo on 26th February it forms the fulcrum, or anchor point, of six planets gathered in Pisces – a unique sky pattern which, in a way, highlights the perfect ending with perfect understanding. Something beautiful, gentle and final; a reflection of cleansing, healing and sacredness.
Something is building towards a conclusion with a sense of perfection and gentle transition, imperceptible to many but nonetheless a very potent shift-point. The sky patterns have been building toward this through all the 2012 hype, quietly, beautifully and now comes the revelation.
Neptune at home; Venus exalted; Mercury with the wings of the dove; Mars on missions of mercy and the Sun and Centaur blazing with Divine fire and healing life-force. This is a fascinating picture and I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Rob Hart. Rob is the resident Astrologer and Tarot Reader at the Heritage Markets in Kuranda and can be contacted on 4093 0218.