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Title: Mantricx
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Feature Article – On Younger Men In Today’s World
I would like to talk about the challenges facing young men growing up in the world today. At 27 I am still young enough to be technically a part of generation Y, and can now report on some observations of growing up in these times. For this generation of young men there are indeed strong pressures and challenges, new and different from those encountered by previous generations. The main one that springs to mind is the changing role for men in the world today; the decline of the inherited position of man as ‘provider’ to his woman and family that has theoretically existed since time immemorial.
This translates to the experience of not having a clear role expectation for today’s young men, who in addition to this have often grown up in families without their father or any strong positive masculine role model. So, where in the past a teenage guy might have expected to grow up, get a job, marry his girlfriend and become the breadwinner or provider, these days this expectation is not nearly so strong. Our culture has changed to one in which both genders are able to be employed, in many sectors with the expectation that women as well as men can be well paid and thus be able to support themselves, and any dependents. Men can support women, and women can support men!
Now this seems a necessary and progressive step; the ‘equal pay for equal work’ campaigns were obviously good and fair initiatives. However, one of the side effects of this change is this decline of the clear role for men as providers. I believe that this kind of archetypal role is very important to the male psyche, and that its loss or decline creates substantial problems for young (and probably not so young) males today. I believe that it is a fundamental truth that men need to be needed, to be useful and wanted, and to have a role to play in the community in order to be happy.
Although it would seem that the opportunity still exists for young men to take up this role, in practice I have not seen it actually happening in relationships all that often. The typical scenario is that a young man, finding that young women he meets no longer look to him for financial support, or to become one half of a team raising a family or ‘home-making’ together, wonders what the hell he is supposed to be doing in this lifetime! Then he looks to the media and the world around him for male role models or ideas on what he is meant to get up to in this tribe (his city or town or wherever he lives). Well, we all know what the media are telling him – generally not very positive or human-affirming stuff, that’s what! You will be happy son, if you have material goods (a fast car, world travel, clothes, flash technology such as cameras, camera phones, laptops etc.) is one of the main messages.
Perhaps even worse than this over-materialism is the tendency towards misogyny that can emerge in such a society as we have today. Talking to some of my peers about their relationships with women it seems that the rift between the sexes does exist on some levels. This, I feel, may be exacerbated by the fact that men and women no longer need to live together; women do not financially need men and are encouraged to be independent, and young men no longer need to be, want to be or are wanted as providers and material supporters. This is just a theory of course, but the message that emerged when I talked to some twenty-something guys was, I don’t need them (women) and they don’t need me. We come together for sex of course, but I prefer the company of other males for opening up to on an emotional level, and for my strong friendships. Is this a new phenomenon? I don’t know, and without doing academic research and turning this fun, creative, writing exercise into lots of work, I can’t tell you. Perhaps other older writers this edition will enlighten me!
Other possible negative outcomes of the loss of the ‘old’ role as providers, a role that was enforced and maintained by the patriarchal society, is on the one hand objectification of women as just sex objects, or on the other resentment of women’s new power, as revealed through the common male dislike of women who in the workplace are powerful, power-dressing and calling the shots; ‘women with balls’ as the colloquialism goes… in other words, being like men.
These women are taking on roles and mantles of power that were previously the exclusive domain of males, while often still communicating in ways that are distinctly feminine, thus confusing younger men who must rapidly adapt their communication styles to work under a female boss. In many fields in which I personally have worked, such as being a carer for adults with mental disabilities, community environmental development work and community trusts, employees and managers are predominantly female, which presents all kinds of challenges for a man, particularly in the areas of communication and expectations governing how he does his work. I know from many conversations that I am far from alone in finding this integration into the politics and ethics of the opposite gender in the workplace very challenging!
In conclusion, the changing gender dynamics in today’s world present a challenging social landscape for young men growing up today. At this time in human history, in the west at least, there is a steep learning curve; it is a struggle for young men to forge a new sense of meaning and purpose in their lives and to identify new roles outside of the traditional one as the breadwinner. During this transition period many young men are falling by the wayside, resulting in increasing levels of depression and suicide for young males.
Nick Moody
Regular Article: Wildlife Wisdom – Plains Turkey – Bustard
Beyond the great divide where the ridges and valleys disappear and the great expanse of the Downs emerge, the homeland of Bustard is found. Although not related to domestic turkey, Bustard is about the same size and he has been given the name Plain Turkey by locals to his homeland.
Bustard by name and Turkey by nature, for they both play the mating game in a similar way. In the mating season male Plain Turkey will strut and parade to attract a mate. He puffs with pride in the expectation of sharing his genes with the offspring of a prospective female. When he spots a member of the opposite sex a rapid transformation takes place from Plain Turkey, to glorious Bustard. His tail fan goes up and his chest puffs out with pride. A large air sack is attached to his neck and when fully inflated it almost drags on the ground. With his feathers puffed and ruffled he appears much larger than he really is.
This is a splendid illusion to win the heart of this seasons’ mate. Bustard’s union lasts only long enough to raise a family and then his mating game will start again next season. He performs the facade long enough to win a heart and after that, it’s back to being one of the boys.
Bustard prefers to keep his feet firmly on the ground. He searches the ground for insects and small prey and is also partial to seasonal plants. If you come into contact with him he will stand still and rely on his native colours to camouflage him against the Australian backdrop. Plain Turkey will often be found in small groups and if threatened, he will take flight; as one bird takes to the air, the rest will follow.
During early European settlement Bustard often gave his life to sustain mankind. His large body weight would readily fill the bellies of a large family. This peaceful bird gave his life to serve others. Today legislation protects him on his earth walk; and his numbers have stabilised once more.
If Plain Turkey – Bustard has come to your hand through the cards today he asks you to consider carefully how you portray yourself to bring about specific outcomes. “I can put on a show to get my way” smiles wily Bustard. “This is acceptable for my kind. However is it the same for your kind?
Bustard has come to you today to ask you to consider the methods you or someone around you maybe using to obtain what is desired from members of the opposite sex. Illusion is a fun game to play if both parties are aware of where that game leads, if the outcome is acceptable to all involved, then illusion can be fun.
Perhaps you have been swept off your feet by a master of illusion or you have swept someone else off their feet? “Take my advice” says Plain Turkey. “Feathers go up and feathers come down, perhaps it is time to stay grounded like me. Go to your heart and ask for your truth.”
Bustard brings your awareness to a potential threat in other relationship areas of your life also. “Pause and stand still as I do, see all that is presented to you as the game that it is. It is expected of me” Bustard tells you. “My unions only last a few months, if you continue to live your life as I do; the same will apply to all types of relationships on your earth walk.”
The medicine of Bustard is to keep a relationship strong after the initial stages. “My mating efforts are short term and do not provide for long-term relationships. The efforts I make to impress are not sustainable for a life partnership.”
Whether personal, intimate or professional, perhaps it is time to look closely at your relationships. If they lack long term connection or the spark has faded, take time to think about how you originally won that heart or created that connection.
Call upon the medicine of Plain Turkey to re-ignite the spark and initiate the game once more with your loved one. Let your mate know that they are still worth the effort, do something special to fan their love and win them over again.
The same intent is a matter of concern in your professional and personal relationships also. Take this opportunity to keep them strong by often returning to the original reason for the connection.
If your heart has been bruised by the actions of others, head to nature where the land opens peacefully and you can stretch your wings, ground yourself and see life as the game that it truly is.
Have fun with it and be aware, as you give, so shall you receive. Be delicate with matters of the heart, but if you wish to create sustainable love and connection, be true.
© Trevor & Susan O’Sullivan 2007