Artist: Jenna Varley
Title: Bodhi Tree
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Contact: Jenna.Varley@uqconnect.edu.au
FEATURE ARTICLE
Creating Harmonious Relationships
My girlfriend and I go back and forth from having peace and love in our relationship to getting into huge hurricane-like arguments. We’ve always worked our way through the arguments and kept going with the relationship on the assumption that we’re working towards ending the conflict for good and just having the love. Yet if we really look at our past, we have no evidence that there will ever be an end to the conflict because conflict keeps happening over and over again, no matter how much better we get at maintaining the love. Are we working towards a fantasy? Can two people ever achieve peace and harmony in a relationship?
Most relationships eventually end in a conflict, or as a result of conflict, because one or the other partner has not taken responsibil¬ity for their own feelings and thoughts that the relationship is mirror¬ing. If the relationship withstands the many seasons of purification, it naturally can grow into a stronger bond. However, to expect for conflict to end is a hope created by the mind, which wants to reach a certain goal. If you drop your need to always be right, or to want the conflict to end, and instead look inside to see what the conflict is showing you about your own self, you can move from your head into your heart, and surrendering to love will happen naturally. Drop your need to have no conflict and accept the conflict just as you accept the love. If you accept one but deny the other, you fuel your unconscious patterns. You either accept both or drop both.
Most relationships have a history of unlived and unfinished business from this or previous lives that needs to be completed. Every disagreement wakes us up and tells us when we’ve dozed off from the truth of our heart. Conflict provides the opportunity for issues to come to the surface so they can be seen, dealt with, and transformed. Conflict helps us grow and evolve. It’s rare to have a relationship without any conflict. Usually, when you are in your thoughts and focused on your own needs and desires, you miss seeing what is happening within your partner. So you get a wake-up call through a conflict to remind you to return to your heart. Unless both of you are alert and present in your heart, your minds are bound to clash because you both need to be awoken to the present
If you are present, even disharmony is harmony because you aren’t trying to fix something or someone. Instead, you are keeping your focus on what you are learning. So there is no problem in disagreements or arguments if you keep your heart open and continue learning. What’s most important is that you don’t blame the other but look inside and become aware of your own unconscious. Everyone is a complex uni¬verse, and if you aren’t doing your inner work, you won’t see your own lessons within the relationship
Generally, people don’t see their own lessons within the relationship because they remain focused on blaming or trying to change the other instead of looking inside and becoming more conscious of themselves. Unless you find your own truth, you will remain insecure and eventu¬ally suffocate yourself and your partner. For a relationship to last, both partners need to commit to being honest with each other, take respon¬sibility for their own growth, and give each other space to grow.
3 Tips for Creating Harmonious Relationships
Relationships are at the heart of most of our significant life experiences. They help to nurture our soul and help us experience love, forgiveness, and gratitude. They help us see and understand ourselves through the eyes of the other and experience compassion. Below are three tips that will help you create harmonious relationships:
1. Turn your attention inwards and start loving yourself first.
Instead of searching for someone else to fill your inner emptiness and need for love, turn your attention inwards and start loving yourself. To start with, work on healing your childhood wounds around your need to be loved. Ask yourself: Why do I need someone else’s love? What is missing inside of me that I need to get from somebody else? Why can’t I feel happy just being by myself and giving myself what I need from others? Then, create a solo retreat for yourself for a few days. Take time to be alone, look inside, contemplate over your needs and wants, meditate, and enjoy your own company. Take care of yourself by giving yourself what you usually look to receive from others (your partner, parents, children, friends, etc.). Unconditionally love and accept yourself as you are!
2. Never blame others for how you feel
Whenever your emotions get triggered, never judge or blame others for how you feel. Instead of blaming the other, look inside and ask yourself: Why am I being triggered? What do I have to learn from this situation? Try to understand what you are being shown about yourself and what lessons you need to learn. Remind yourself that other people are wonderful mirrors to help you see your unconscious patterns and grow into greater consciousness so you can find the truth of your own heart and being.
3. Be honest with yourself and others
For any relationship to be harmonious, intimate and loving, honesty is an absolute must. If you’d like your relationship to grow in intimacy, unconditional love and acceptance don’t be afraid to fully expose your inner truth. Don’t compromise your truth and don’t manipulate. Work on being honest with people no matter what the consequences. It will not only help you but also the other to open their heart and connect in a way that will allow you both to grow.
Excerpt from In Search of the Miraculous: Healing into Consciousness by Eliza Mada Dalian
Eliza Mada Dalian is a self-realized spiritual teacher, internationally acclaimed master-healer and best-selling author of In Search of the Miraculous: Healing into Consciousness. Using her childhood ability to read thought forms in the body and energy with 100% accuracy, her life-long exploration of the human condition, and her wisdom as an enlightened mystic, she devised an advanced healing technique – the Dalian Method™ – to help people quickly transform their pain and suffering into health, joy and self-empowered consciousness. www.madadalian.com
Don’t miss a special visit to Australia by Eliza Mada Dalian – Healing the Body and Awakening Consciousness: an Introduction to the Dalian Method™ – an Advanced Self-Healing System for a New Humanity:
• Free Evening Talk in Byron Bay, March 8th
• Free Evening Talk in Cairns March 19th
• One-Day Workshop in Cairns March 23rd
For more information, see http://www.madadalian.com/calender-of-events.php
REGULAR FEATURE
Feng Shui of Moving House
Moving home is one of the top stressful times of your life together with grieving, divorce and losing one’s job. We get out of our comfort zone, our routines and our habits. Moving house can be daunting so I prepared a Feng Shui checklist to make your move as smooth as possible.
Before the move
First things first. You must be prepared to move. Look through all your drawers … how much have you accumulated since your last move? Out of all of that, what is ACTUALLY necessary and/or useful?
Empty, sell or remove every non-essential item that has been collected over time. This will help with your move exponentially. You will have fewer boxes to move and everything will be easier to find when unpacking. The phrase, ‘less is more’ comes to mind: the less you have to move, the more time you will spend enjoying your new home once you finish moving in. Ideally, moving house should only take one full day; any longer means that you might be dealing with more belongings than necessary.
You know that you are soon to move and don’t know where yet
Prepare a list with the ten major points that you wish to find in your next home. For example:
– Size: a studio, 1-BDR unit, 4-BDR home, share accommodation, etc.
– Ads-ons: shed, garage, carport, car park etc.
– Site: preferred suburb or area
– Specifications: modern, clean, tastefully furnished or unfurnished
– Environment: close to shops, schools, airport, etc.
– Neighbours: quiet, young, old, like-minded people etc.
– Rental: length of your lease (6, 12 months or other)
– Purchase: range of the amount you are ready to invest
– Payments: weekly rental or weekly mortgage repayment
– Other details: other specific points that are important to you
A new home is a new start in your life, a new you. This change is your chance to improve your life!
Your previous place
A clean cut with your previous (actual) home is important. You de-cluttered and have chosen the items that you still wish to surround yourself with in your new place. This is the best timing to get rid of undesired objects, faded old paintings and broken items to be able to start anew. Be in gratitude for all that home brought to you: a comfortable place to spend time, to grow wiser and happier (hopefully) through all the ups and downs in life. Wish her lovely new tenants or owners.
Your new place
You chose your new place from its first impression, ideally because you fell in love with it; you felt welcome, you liked the location too. In other words, you feel that this new environment with the room shapes, windows and views suits your life today. Sometimes this new place has smaller rooms and your furniture won’t fit. Don’t cramp them; instead organise a garage sale, put them on EBay, Gumtree or other appropriate websites where you can sell bulky items and pieces that won’t fit. A new home often demands more changes than we initially thought.
Energy-clearing ritual
In an ideal world, clean, wash and cleanse the energies of all belongings you are about to move to your new place. Once everything is about to be loaded in the removalist truck, clear with your favourite ritual. For example, protect yourself, and then smoke with white sage or incense. Alternatively, play Jaroslav Kovaricek’ Feng Shui Acoustic CD especially composed to clear and harmonise space. This CD is available for purchase on my website under the page ‘Books and Products’. With the music CD it is easy, fast and nobody would question what you are doing.
In your new place, before anything gets unloaded, clear the energies of the previous tenants or owners as explained above.
The move
The first room to prepare is your bedroom; after a good day of physical and emotional changes, making your bed with fresh linen will get you a good night’s sleep.
Happy Feng Shui Move!
Roseline Deleu, international Feng Shui Master, best-selling author and inspirational speaker. Book now for your Home and Business Feng Shui Consultations. Become a successful Feng Shui Practitioner; enrol in Roseline’s 5-Day Certificate Course www.fengshuisteps.com 0412 717 454